As a parent, you may end up saying things that you never thought you’d say in a hundred years, because kids do weird things!
Becoming a parent for the first time is both exciting and stressful. Rather than focusing on the problematic parts, it can be easier if you maintain a sense of humor about the journey. Laughter is the best medicine and can help you combat the baby blues as well as provide some entertaining content for your playdate discussions.
Laughter can help alleviate pain and reduce blood sugar. In addition to the health benefits, laughing with your partner can improve your emotional connection, something that is often difficult in the childrearing years. Keep a record of the silly anecdotes that come out of your mouth as your child grows, and you can laugh about them for years to come. Here are ten hilarious things new parents are surprised to hear themselves say out loud.
10/10Don’t lick that
Young babies explore everything with their mouths, and once they learn how to lick, they will begin licking everything they can get near their mouths. Unfortunately, this includes shopping cart handles, your face, and even the floor. The good news is that you don’t need to worry about all of the germs babies interacts with, causing her harm. Allowing your child to interact with household germs can boost her immune system and make allergies and asthma less likely as she grows.
9/10We don’t drink or eat out of the dog’s bowl
If you have pets, you may need to find an alternate location for their food and water supplies once the baby is on the move. Those shiny bowls of cold liquid and crunchy nuggets are irresistible to little explorers.
Your baby will explore everything with their mouth, and kibble is no exception. Luckily pet food is made of meat, grains, and vegetables, so it isn’t likely to harm your tot. If your crawler makes a beeline for the bowl every time it might be helpful to feed pets behind a baby gate.
8/10Toothbrushes are not for that body part
When your baby gets his first tooth, you’ll need to start brushing with a baby toothbrush. Despite your best efforts to keep it hidden away, he is likely to find it.
Babies love to mimic what their parents do, so the baby will likely begin using the brush to groom parts of his body. While you shouldn’t worry if he brushes his cute feet or chubby legs with the bristles, it’s probably a good idea to replace the toothbrush if he uses it on his tiny hiney.
7/10We cannot play with playdough until you put on underwear
When you begin potty training, you’ll grow accustomed to your little one streaking through the house in her birthday suit. Many toddlers love being naked and will resist putting clothes on at any cost. It may be helpful to introduce a sticker chart or some other reward for getting dressed each day.
Don’t worry too much if your tot likes to streak through the house when the neighbors visit; most people understand that this is a natural part of childhood and won’t bat an eye. Eventually, your child will learn that wearing clothing is essential. She isn’t likely to go to preschool in the buff.
6/10Don’t put your butt there
This is another one that you’ll find yourself saying as you approach the potty training journey. A new walker is likely to plop down everywhere, including the cat, or even the dog’s water dish.
If your tot has siblings, they will like squeal as a naked behind lands on their head. While this may be utterly embarrassing and unacceptable to your older child, it is perfectly normal for your baby who hasn’t yet learned that butts are generally best kept covered.
5/10Don’t paint the dog
Fingerpainting is an excellent sensory activity for your baby and can help get them used to touching textures that they might otherwise find icky. Child development experts suggest allowing your children to engage in safe play with a variety of textures.
Getting messy is both fun and useful for brain development. If you’re concerned about baby eating the paint, use yogurt mixed with natural food dye instead. Just be sure to catch those little hands before they run off to explore the house and the pet’s fur.
4/10Do you need to use the potty in the back of the car?
We’re back to the potty training anecdotes again. Many parents find it helpful to keep a small potty seat in the car for emergencies when out and about. A car potty seat can come in very handy if you’re stuck in traffic on your way to the beach, or driving through miles of wilderness.
Just be sure to empty and clean the seat after each use, or you risk having a smelly vehicle for the rest of the trip.
3/10Mama is not a jungle gym
Just like babies enjoy exploring the house, they will enjoy climbing and exploring their parents.
This gentle wrestling can be a great way to play with baby, but beware, if you allow baby to climb and roll around on you once, they are likely to ask for it again and again, and not always at the best of times. Sometimes this can result in a tackle while trying to fold laundry, or a pointy elbow to the nose.
2/10You can’t put me in time out; I’m your dad
Once your tot begins to talk, they will pick up and repeat the things you say regularly. So, if you’re using time out as a discipline strategy, beware that your child will eventually try to put you in time out.
Perhaps you put them in time out because they threw a toy. That tiny human is likely to yell at you to go in time out because they aren’t sure what to do with the big emotions they are feeling. Keep your sense of humor and stay with our child to help them calm down.
1/10No, you can’t eat people
When babies are little, we are always kissing and nibbling on their little fingers and toes. Mothers are wired to kiss babies as a natural way to protect them from germs.
When your little one begins using her mouth to explore her world, you are likely to get a faceful of open mouth, slobbery kisses that will both melt your heart and have you reaching for a towel. As your little one gets teeth, it isn’t unusual for them to begin biting people as well. Biting is best handled with a firm no and redirecting, especially at a young age.
Source: babygaga.com
