I discovered my second baby Ivy has unusual limbs at the age of 19 weeks. She was told by the midwife that the scan revealed significant findings. She immediately started crying, and her stomach immediately slumped. I just have a horrible, horrible sensation that something is wrong. They finally sat down and she told her midwife about the sonogram. The midwife delivered the dreadful news: “First, there’s a chance the baby will have a cleft lip. Additionally, her heart suffered greatly when she lost both her hand and forearm, and one side of her femur was twisted and shorter than the other.
This feels like a gut-punch. It made me lose air. Images of my ideal baby were shattered, and it caused me to fall over and start crying. No arms, then? I am not familiar with this. I’m not aware of it. Never did I have a passing thought of fear or concern. I simply thought that she had all the necessary limbs and parts. She sobs and feels terrible for her worries and her sense of helplessness. But she overstepped her bounds and wept.
Her dad added, “Our family will be blessed by her. Our family needs someone like her, in my opinion. She has a lot to share with us.” She spent the evening looking up videos of other children with amputations, researching prosthesis for infants and young children, and she sensed a glimmer of hope. She was told by the doctor that it was over. We had given up on having children and believed that a baby’s life could not be lived. When the doctor proposed ending it, I was astounded.
She’s never decided to have an abortion. She doesn’t want to put her pregnancy at more risk because she wants to keep the kid. She believed that, out of all the mothers in the world, the universe had picked me to be Ivy’s mother. I even believe she picked me. She acknowledged when she saw me. I desire her. She should be my mother, I say. The universe anticipates my love for her. that I would defend her and be everything she needed in a mother. I feel as though my entire life has been leading up to and preparing me for this to be Ivy’s mother.
Ivy surprised us all by arriving four weeks early. She can’t wait to join the world. Or maybe she knew that I needed her here, needed reassurance that she would be okay in the end, safe in my arms. The moment I gave birth to her and held her in my arms, I felt so peaceful. And when she opened her eyes and looked at me for the first time, I knew she was exactly where she was supposed to be.
